ugly

your gums are showing,

your eyes collapse

like an embrace,

like a curtain.

you turn,

you have to turn.

none of us can stare victory in the face.

cards shown,

battle plans spread out,

the piggy bank just broke over your head.

who would want you now?

seeing your ugly smile?

no picture, no painting,

no, not even your own mirror

will witness your blister.

gasp at your giddy.

you where meant to be that animal.

the feverish pearlescent shadow of your fitface.

do you think I'm a fool? Because I AM a fool.

I'm also smiling in secret.

scratching and wincing. I can't get rid of

my sick sick smile

who could know?

so quick to the tool chest,

yellow plastic shovels,

quick to the ground-

quick to the clearing,

brushing back the leaves and clutter

you toss your head back in sky-

bending, straining in the

packed mud, get down there,

all the way, six feet, six days,

six winks deep in the dirt.

rip and shred, the smile weakly peels

off your cheap cheeks and spills,

like chalk dust trails into the ditch.

your ugly smile

makes you a babe.

a super babe.

have you seen yourself?

it's up there. all of it.

disaster ready.

be warned.

I might try to carve your face into shape.

I just might press and press,

until laugh lines become laugh streets.

laugh borders to cheek kingdoms.

I will hold them there to remind you

after I disappear

when you stare briefly at yourself in

a car window or the lake water at your feet-

I was there. in your eyes. for a moment.

long enough to ruin your cool.

deep enough to see your eyes shine.

and real enough for the light to blow back

and tear through mine. thank you.